It inevitably comes as a profound surprise to me when I easily slip into hopefulness. It is as though my trust in the goodness of this life is so shaky that I will believe in the permanence of whatever uncomfortable reality happens to be sitting in front of me. The comfortable is a bit harder to see, harder to expect.
And yet in truth it doesn’t take much to brighten my world, to shift me out of my guarded stance and allow me to appreciate my suddenly gentle, soft, easy surroundings. And, of course, I will notice sooner or later that hopefulness slips away just as easily. Is there a pattern?
Yes, and not the first I’ve noticed it. What I am learning and relearning endlessly is that the name of the game – or at least MY game – is sitting with what’s in front of me, knowing that my role is to cultivate patience and equanimity that is distinct from the rightness or wrongness of the feelings or actions that confront me, to hold that in my heart, knowing that I have been here before and will be here again.